


Fall To Pieces

by WhatTheWentz



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blankets, Cuddles, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Episode: s02e14 Moonshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 01:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10322405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheWentz/pseuds/WhatTheWentz
Summary: When Nate returned from the cargo bay with Amaya, everyone was silent, all too afraid to say anything.  They had landed the ship, Thawne was gone, and they were ready to leave the 1970s with the last shard of the Spear of Destiny, so why did it feel like they had just lost?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I wrote this because my fave Nate needs hugs after what he endured

Ray wasn’t quite sure what to say.

 

It was a situation that he was used to, what with having the social skills of a drunken goose (whoever said rich billionaires had to be charming gentlemen with carefully chosen, yet always respected words anyway?), but this time it was different.

 

When Nate returned from the cargo bay with Amaya, everyone was silent, all too afraid to say anything.  They had landed the ship, Thawne was gone, and they were ready to leave the 1970s with the last shard of the Spear of Destiny, so why did it feel like they had just lost?

 

Ray struggled to look at his boyfriend, who had quite obviously been crying.  It didn’t surprise Ray; he was no stranger to losing people, but still.  Nate’s only possible chance at giving his dad another chance to live life with his father had been taken from him.  He had been unable to do anything as his grandfather had sacrificed himself for him.

 

Nate was still new to the whole ‘superhero’ thing, and even newer to the consequences of it.  He had been innocent to the pain of it all, overjoyed and fooled by the great parts that he hadn’t been able to see the bad.

 

Amaya squeezed Nate’s shoulder, offering him a comforting smile (the two had grown to become insanely close friends, which broke Ray's heart considering he knew her future) and Ray cursed himself, knowing that he should be the one comforting Nate, but he didn’t even know where to start.

 

Instead, he just sat in silence as Nate made his way out of the room, looking like he was going to fall to pieces.

 

*

 

Hours passed, and Nate had briefly left the ship to speak to his father’s younger self, and when he had returned, seemed even more downtrodden as he brushed past Ray without a word and headed to the library.

 

Ray huffed, then went to work on his damaged A.T.O.M. suit, telling himself that it was the only thing he  _ could  _ fix.  He couldn’t even speak to his boyfriend, someone who probably really needed him.

 

He shakily fiddled with the screwdriver for a couple of minutes, a thousand different thoughts running through his head.  Sometimes, he wished there was a way to science his way out of affairs of the heart; they were always so painful.

 

Soon, he decided to leave the room, it beginning to close in on him as the thoughts crowded his head and the guilt filled his heart, and he ended up bumping into Amaya, who seemed a bit out of sorts, her eyes reddened.

 

“Sorry.” Ray mumbled, pulling away only to notice the sadness written upon the woman in front of him’s face, “Hey… are you okay?”

 

She looked genuinely surprised by his concern for a quick second, then shook it off, “Huh?  Oh, yeah.  It’s fine.  It’s just-- Henry… he was a friend.” there was a soft hitch to her voice, as if she was withholding something, but he didn’t want to push, knowing that it was probably a painful time for her.

 

“I’m sorry.” he rested a hand on her shoulder, “Do you need anything or…?”

 

She gave a soft smile, “No, it’s fine, thanks for asking though.  And anyway, I don’t think I should be the one who you’re really asking that to.”   
  


“Where is he?” Ray asked, dropping his arms back to his sides.

 

Amaya replied, “He went back to your chambers.  It’s been a long, hard day for him.  I doubt he’ll be able to get much sleep with it.  It’s his first real death, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, I think so.” he sighed, “I just… I don’t know what to do.  What to say.  How do I make this okay?”   
  


Amaya reached out and squeezed Ray’s hand, “You won’t.” his heart sunk for a split second and he considered pulling away until she continued to speak, “At least, not for a while.  Just… be there for him.  Let him grieve, let him feel everything that he’s supposed to and after a while, he’ll begin to heal on his own.  Now go.  Be there for him.”

 

“Thanks, Amaya.” Ray smiled at her, “That was really inspiring.”   
  


She nodded, “I just know a little something about loss.” she let go of his hand, “I’ll see you later, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Ray replied.

 

*

 

When he made his way into his and Nate’s quarters, Ray wasn’t sure what he had quite expected to see, but Nate curled up miserably on the bed, buried beneath all of the covers and blankets, was definitely not it.

 

It was a painful sight, seeing someone whom was usually so excitable so sad and when Nate heard Ray enter, his form seemed to slump even more.

 

Nate mumbled unconvincingly, “I’m fine.”

 

“Yeah, not believing that one, buddy.” Ray said as he walked over to the bed and took off his shoes, “Scoot over.”

 

Nate rolled his eyes then begrudgingly moved, making room for his boyfriend to clamber in.  As he did so, he remarked, “You know, we’re sharing a bed and dating.  I don’t know if ‘buddy’ is the best nickname.”

 

“It’s kind of our thing.” Ray said, shuffling to get comfortable, then wrapping an arm around Nate, “Come here.  Tell me everything.”

 

Nate moved closer, resting his chin on Ray’s chest as he began to speak, “I can’t get it out of my head.  I was wanting to actually take him back to his time, s-so my dad could…”

 

“So he could grow up with a dad?” Ray asked.

 

Nate nodded, “I know it’d screw up the timeline but--”   
  


“Family is always a painful area when it comes to these kind of things.” Ray said.

 

Nate sighed shakily, his eyes welling with tears, “You know, I didn’t even get to show him my powers, or what they could do.  God, it’s such a selfish thing to think, the guy died for me and all I-I can think about--” he broke off to calm his own breathing, afraid that he was going to end up breaking down again.

 

Ray carded his fingers through the other’s hair soothingly, “It’s okay.  You can tell me.”   
  


“All I can think about is that I could’ve survived it.” Nate said, his voice wavering, “If I was steeled out, I could’ve… I might’ve…”

 

Ray said, “You don’t know that, though.  You could’ve burned up, or died from no oxygen.”

 

“At least I would’ve had a chance!” Nate cried, “Now he’s just dead and I can’t get the image of him getting sucked out of the cargo bay out of my head and  _ it’s just--”  _ his breath hitched on a sob and he looked away.

 

Ray cupped his cheek, “Hey… look at me.” when Nate finally did, he wiped away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks, “Your grandfather would be so proud of you, of the hero you’ve become.  He sacrificed himself and it was awful that he died, but he did so being a hero.  Being a hero is something that runs in the family, it seems.”   
  


“I’m not a hero.” Nate sniffled, “If I was, I would’ve leaped out of that chair immediately and I would’ve sacrificed myself instead.   It should’ve been me.  Not him.”   
  


Ray shook his head, horrified at the concept of Nate sacrificing himself, “Don’t ever think that.  He died to save our lives.  Your life.  And I know that makes you feel guilty.  And I know it hurts.  I just need you to know I’m always going to be here for you.  If you had died, I’dve lost you.  And I don’t really know what I could’ve done then.”   
  


“You’re really trying this whole ‘cheer me up and comfort me’ thing, aren’t you?” Nate scoffed, then wiped at his eyes, “Why?”

 

Ray replied, “Because you’re my boyfriend and I love you.  Also because I’ve watched someone I love die and it hurt.  It hurt for so long, but that pain?  I channelled it into being a hero.”

 

“C-Can you just stay with me?” Nate asked, “Can we just stay here?”

 

Ray nodded, “Of course.  The rest of the team will manage with the whole ‘Spear of Destiny’ thing and unless they need all hands on deck, I’ll stay with you.  So, what do you feel like doing?  Wanna watch some Indiana Jones?”

 

“Yeah, please.” Nate rested his head back on Ray’s chest, still crying, but completely silently as his boyfriend turned on the television.

 

Ray kissed the top of his head and Nate cuddled close, still haunted by the events of the day but allowing himself the moment of reprieve that he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Reviews are loved and appreciated!!!


End file.
